NOTES FROM THE STILL ABOVE-GROUND

It was right about my 60th birthday when I started saying, "I'm getting old" and meaning it.

I don't say that anymore. Now I simply say, "I'm old." That covers it.

So, thoughts from an old man.

I was writing something the other day and wanted to drop in a mention of my age. I wrote that I was “seventy- ----”        Uh, what? Seventy what? Yes, for just a bit, I forgot my own age. For just a second I thought maybe I was 77. No, that can’t be right. Very quickly it came to me. 74. I’m 74.  The whole incident lasted maybe 3-4 seconds but it was enough to make me sit up and take notice.

If you think about it, when an old man forgets his own age, that very act is sort of a symptom of itself. If you follow.

Quit your bitchin’, old man.

You had your time,

Your wins and losses

Your loves and losses.

You’ve been there, done that.

Don’t moan if you muffed it.

It’s someone else’s time now

Someone else’s turn.

Why are you here?

Why are you bitching?

Oh, I get it. You want more.

Who doesn’t? Who ever hasn’t?

What makes you special?

Get over your damn self.

It’s just that it’s me, you see.

I don’t want the world to go on without me.

Yes, I’ve had my time…but I didn’t always spend it well.

Yes, I’ve had my wins, but too few, never enough.

Yes, I’ve had my losses, and they were fairly earned.

Yes, I’ve had my loves but so so long ago.

Was that even me?

Loving those beautiful, wonderful women?

Loved by them?

It seems like something I heard about

Or something I read

Or a movie I saw

That was me?

Yes, I’m greedy. I want more life

Because that’s all there is.

Besides, my back hurts.

And you get over your damn self.