Adventures in Moviegoing

Makes for a nice title, doesn't it? The truth is though there's no adventure here, just a few recollections of moviegoing that stuck with me. 

In 1954, my parents took me to the drive-in theater to see the current re-release of Walt Disney’s PINOCCHIO. Very exciting. But, as is intended for all toddlers, I fell asleep in the back seat of the car about 15-20 minutes into the movie. I was preemptively dressed in my pajamas and was equipped with blanket and pillow. I do have one memory of the bit of PINOCCHIO which I did see. I remember The Blue Fairy. After that, a good night’s sleep.

The first movie I ever saw in a theater was THE SHAGGY DOG in the summer of 1959. I was 9 years old. It was also the one and only occasion on which our family in full ventured out to the movies. Both of my parents, both of my siblings and myself. 

It was a big deal for me. It remains a big deal for me. And I loved the movie, which was perfect for a 9-year-old in1959. I almost missed it, however. Just a week or two earlier, I had been so upset that a TV episode was ending before I wanted it to that I burst into tears. My mom was very upset and said if I got that bent out of shape about a TV show maybe we shouldn't go to the movies. Thankfully it turned out that I was just coming down with some sort of flu bug which certainly had been the cause of my breakdown. 

My dad left us about 2 months after that movie outing. I don't really think THE SHAGGY DOG had anything to do with it and I've never blamed it. My dad simply was a small town cop who fell in lust with a diner waitress. Not nearly so poetic as Tennessee Williams’s “telephone lineman who fell in love with long distances.”

Actually, “small town cop + diner waitress” sounds like it has possibilities. If somebody had killed somebody during that mess, James M. Cain might have made a feast of it. But nobody killed nobody and I guess that's good. I guess. 

The first movie I ever saw in a theater was THE SHAGGY DOG in June, 1959. It was the only family movie outing we ever had while Dad was still in the family. After he left, we saw a few movies with Momma and a few with Dad but never the twain did meet.

From THE SHAGGY DOG on, I became a fairly regular moviegoer. For the next sixty years and a little more, I went to the movies. During some periods I went frequently, during other periods sporadically. But never, in those sixty-plus years was there an occasion when more than a few months passed without my trekking out to the cinema.

In my old age, which has been going on now for a damned long time, my viewings fell way off. Still, I probably averaged a movie outing per month, though occasionally a few months might pass without a moviegoing experience.

Then, Covid. So ya know. The last movie I saw in a theater in the Before Tymes was KNIVES OUT, January 2020. Then a long time passed till I ventured out for THE FRENCH DISPATCH and then NO TIME TO DIE. A couple months later I bought a ticket for NO TIME TO DIE again. Yes, again. That was late in 2021, maybe early 2022. 

Then…nothing. Time passed. More than a year and a half passed and I never went out to the movies. I kinda missed it. Finally, just last week, I walked the endless three blocks to Regal Cinemas to see an actual movie in an actual theater. ‘Bout time, bitch.

The movie was MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: DEAD RECKONING, PART ONE, which is just way way too much title for one movie. And I had a fabulous time. Popcorn and Diet Coke and reclining seat and a really good movie. 

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE, ETC. has, no surprise, sensational action sequences and a pleasingly convoluted plotline. It also has, of course, Tom Cruise. I’m certainly not the first to say it, but let me be the latest to repeat it, I think Tom Cruise genuinely is The Last Movie Star.

Who else can “open” a movie these days? Who else delivers a movie every year or two, no more no less?  Wait, you say, what about Tom Hanks? What about Robert DeNiro? Maybe Meryl Streep? Well, wonderful actors, sure. Formerly big movie stars, absolutely. But they all seem to turn out a dozen “movies” a year now, most of which never see the inside of a theater. It’s a different thing. Different animal.

Tom Cruise, The Last Movie Star. I stand by that. 

So, is MI:DRP1 a great movie? No, it isn’t. Great as the action is, lovely as the settings are, talented as the actors are, it’s not a Great movie. 

The action, naturally, must be broken every now and then to impart some information and, more importantly, to give the audience a rest. The problem here is that the dialogue in those breaks…not good. Sappy and obvious. A couple of decent gags, but, all in all, pretty rancid stuff. It’s almost painful to watch people like Simon Pegg and Ving Rhames struggle to make some turgid, fakey words sound acceptable.

Cruise and Rebecca Ferguson are somewhat spared those indignities. It even occurred to me that Tom might have seen what the dialogue was and suggested cutting some of his. Or maybe, “hey, why not have Simon say this instead of me?”  Cruise--no idiot he--might very well have managed something like that. Well. He was a producer, after all.

Anyway, very enjoyable action movie. Well worth seeing. Hugely entertaining. But far from perfect. And I enjoyed myself so much that I went back to the movies less than a week later. But that’s another story. A very pink story.

           Okay, I see Tom Cruise, Rebecca Ferguson, Ving Rhames, and, apparently, 
                                    Madame Tussaud's take on Simon Pegg.