Professional News Gaffes

The things you can learn on TV if you just pay attention. At least if you pay more attention than the newsreaders often pay. Here are some lovely screw-ups made by reporters in years past. None of these are recent because I gave up watching the news about 4 years ago. Yes, there's just too much misery amongst the comedy.

There was a segment, for some reason, about SURVIVOR. The segment closed with the anchorwoman, this fabulously beautiful moron, saying that the finale of the show's first season actually drew 51 viewers. A whole 51. I would have thought a higher number. That'll teach me. I mean, she's gorgeous, so obviously she's right. Right?

I was so relieved to just hear on the news that the police brought in a "canine dog" to search for a perp. That's right. Not just a dog...a CANINE dog.  The NYPD don't go halfway.

A WNBC news anchorwoman announced the sale of the cowardly lion costume from Wizard of Oz  “worn by Bert Lahr…”  which she pronounces “lair”  She then says they’re also selling the piano from CASABLANCA… “Uhh…Humphrey Bogart was in that movie, wasn’t he?”

The beautiful moron again  “...bystanders struggled to lift them to safely.”

 …and again… “...a congratulory tweet…” 

“....this fictitional character…”    Brooke Baldwin  CNN

“Anti-homophobic slurs”    Reagan Medgie WCBS2  3/15/17   (think about it)

Of the planet Jupiter … “It’s at its closest distance to Earth right now -- 415 miles.”

Lester Holt NBC Evening News   4/6/2017

“...an intentional manhunt spanning 26 countries...”

The beautiful moron. Of Barbra Streisand… “...her new debut album…”  

“...video shows smoke waifing around the stadium…”  The Byfl. M'rn.

“...the cross which Jesus was crucifixed upon....”  San Diego newswoman

“so selfish-less”

We are told that the gunman was “brandishing a semiotic weapon”

“Rita and her two children were just babies…”  NOT the beautiful moron

“...an upstairs neighbor is responsible for the murder of a seven-year-old woman…”   THIS is the beautiful Moron.

A slightly less beautiful moron spoke of Alec Baldwin “the six-year-old actor.”