SIXTY YEARS AGO TODAY 

Sixty Years Ago Today was Sunday, March 17, 1963…Mount Agung erupted on Bali, killing 1,150 people. On February 19, the volcano had killed 17 people after being dormant for more than a century, and then had a more violent eruption a month later….At the Vatican, Mother Mary Seton was beatified. In 1975 she would be canonized, becoming the first American saint...

Boston Celtics’ great Bob Cousy played his final game in the NBA…The number one song in the country was “Our Day Will Come” by Ruby and the Romantics…Personally, I was in the 7th grade at Parkview Junior High School in Jeffersonville, Indiana and I was doing just fine, thanks for asking…

That afternoon I watched a semi-horror film of which I’d heard but about which I knew almost nothing other than the fact that it featured three big-time scary names. Yeah, boy, that afternoon I settled on the living room sofa to watch…

YOU’LL FIND OUT

I knew that Boris Karloff, Bela Lugosi, and Peter Lorre were in the cast. I assumed that they would be the “stars” of the film. So disappointment loomed. I also expected to see a genuine horror film, so….more looming.

Oh, it not only loomed, it arrived. I didn’t hate the movie. It was impossible to muster enough feeling of any sort, much less ramp it all the way up to “hatred”. Just disappointing, that’s all. Not much of a movie, not good roles for the trio of master villains, not really much of a horror film. Oh, well.

I’ve rewatched it a couple of times over the years and have come to enjoy it a little more mostly because, believe it or not, I’ve grown somewhat fond of Kay Kyser and his band. So sue me.

So here and now, upon the solemn occasion of the 60th anniversary of my first look at YOU’LL FIND OUT, it’s time to watch it again, give it one more shot. And, considering my current age, and my lack of caring about the movie, it’s probably safe to assume this will be my final viewing. Ooof. Just scared myself.

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Kay Kyser is billed over the title, Lorre gets second billing, Lugosi fifth. Fifth…Then, after everybody else, comes a big solo full-screen billing “And Boris Karloff.”

The opening “comedy” with Kyser and Jeff Corey and some cute girl is very weak, the sort of opener which might well have seen audiences rising en masse to go demand refunds.

Boris and Bela both get nice spooky introductions. Lorre’s is a little muddled. 

Kay is not a bad actor…for a bandleader. Ish Kabibble is not funny…for a lead comic.

Kyser’s girl singer Ginny Simms is both more attractive and a better actor than leading lady Helen Parrish. At the risk of being severely ungallant…that’s not saying much.

Karloff’s wonderful voice is put to some great use.

The band’s songs are definitely nothing special, still, it’s nice, mellow, old-fashioned, ‘40s big band stuff, so it’s still welcome.

I don’t think Lorre ever looked more like “Peter Lorre” than he does here. It must also be said that he often gives the distinct feeling of someone who really does not want to be there.

Lugosi gets lots of screen time, lots of chances to lift eyebrows and flare nostrils. Unfortunately, apart from the pleasure of seeing the actor himself, his scenes are pretty silly.

But his reaction to Ginny Simms is so blatantly admiring that it’s pretty funny.

One thing in favor of big band musicals, we don’t have to wonder where all the instrumental music on the soundtrack comes from.

The comedy in the script is just outrageously unfunny, as if scripted by a depressed, perhaps suicidal writer.

It’s rather strange that the white-haired, mustachioed Karloff wears a white-haired, mustachioed ghost mask. It looks like Karloff wearing a bad Karloff mask.

In the end credits, the billing is Kyser, Lorre, Karloff, Lugosi. That’s a little better.

So…no, not much of a movie. I’d say it is a horror film, but just barely. And I can’t make up my mind about the use of the Big Three. There’s no doubt that they’re wasted, as is the celluloid for that matter. But to cast three of Hollywood’s legendary villains and make them…villains. I don’t know. I guess. But maybe there would have been worth in making them harmless guys who just look like villains. Like TUCKER AND DALE VS. EVIL but with Kay Kyser. I don’t know, probably not. But I did feel, as I watched it, that it was just too easy to cast Boris Karloff, Bela Lugosi, and Peter Lorre as villains. Too on point sorta.